http://maddyfigueroa.com/blog.html Maddy Figueroa: Blog/Current News Jannis' PHPRss class - http://www.jannis.to/ Thu, 23 Sep 2010 18:36:14 -0700 http://maddyfigueroa.com/blog.html/there_is_a_way_to_predict_the_outcome_of_people_like_you_or_me I will never, ever, EVER be the kid who can get called on in math class and answer the questions perfectly. I probably won't answer the question at all, actually,
I won't always look perfect. Hell, half the time, I probably won't even look good.
I will never be a size zero. (Thank god, if my hips were that small I would have no figure.)
I will always have a bit of extra weight on me.
I will always be less pretty than some girls. Than most girls, arguably.
I'm never going to be one of those girls who looks pretty when she cries.
I'm never going to be one of those girls who can arrive at school with her hair one way, in perfect order and never have to glance in a mirror to know it looks good.
I'm never going to be one of those girls that have boys after her.
I'm never going to be one of those girls who have the courage to say what they're thinking all the time, because I don't have the confidence to back up my courage. I'm too afraid of my peers, and I'm too afraid of being judged.

However...
I will always be one of those girls that can never stop dreaming and imagining.
I will always be one of those girls who will give you the answers to the English homework... Because I've had it done since the day it was assigned.
I will always be strong.
I will never, (ahem, from this day forth) let people get in the way of how I feel about myself.
Okay, never is a bit much. I will TRY not to ever let people get in the way of how I feel about myself.
I'm going to be one of those people that feels awkward in most situations. (At least until I pass through these silly teen years...) I feel awkward in my body. I feel awkward with my personality.
But, in being so awkward, I'm learning.
I will never stop learning.
I will always love and cherish the Harry Potter series. (This is a vow.)
I'm going to be one of those girls who loves things to an obsessive extent.
I will always love music that helps me.
Books will be my life.
I am always going to love my friends in a completely familial way, to the point where they're more like my relatives than my relatives are.
I will never stop being grateful for the people in my life.
I will always end up making my inspirational speeches and revelations sound corny.
My lists about myself and my life will almost always be disorganized, confusing and slightly out of order.
Always.]]> http://maddyfigueroa.com/blog.html/there_is_a_way_to_predict_the_outcome_of_people_like_you_or_me Mon, 13 Sep 2010 19:16:37 -0700 Let's pretend we don't exist. - Maddy Figueroa - Blog/Current News http://maddyfigueroa.com/blog.html/harryfreakinpotter
OKAY. So the Harry Potter related events:

1. My birthday is in April. My lovely father has agreed to pay for half of a trip to Orlando. Know what's in Orlando? FUCKING UNIVERSAL STUDIOS WIZARDING WORLD OF HARRY POTTER. I have been waiting to go to this for at least three years. (It was announced it 2007. ;))

2. The Harry Potter Exhibition is hitting my city! (Or, a city I live in/ nearby anyway.) I have tickets. OCTOBER.

3. Deathly Hallows comes out in exactly 97 days.

Happiness can be found in the strangest of places, can't it?

Peace, love, and Harry. <3]]> http://maddyfigueroa.com/blog.html/harryfreakinpotter Fri, 13 Aug 2010 00:36:51 -0700 Let's pretend we don't exist. - Maddy Figueroa - Blog/Current News http://maddyfigueroa.com/blog.html/nerdery_and_cabaret http://ovationmtb.com/listings15559.asp

Much love from an overly excited Harry Potter fangirl.]]> http://maddyfigueroa.com/blog.html/nerdery_and_cabaret Mon, 19 Jul 2010 21:11:25 -0700 Let's pretend we don't exist. - Maddy Figueroa - Blog/Current News http://maddyfigueroa.com/blog.html/tis_wonderful_tis_marvelous
Oh, the beauty of time. I don't think it heals all wounds; But it certainly does numb them, or perhaps even partially heal them. And to think that just a few weeks ago, I was contemplating how awful life was. For what feels like the first time in a long while, though, I can honestly say I am happy. Just generally content. I have four people in my life who I feel really concrete with, and who I'm always excited to see. Just their general existence and company is plenty to make my day, and they're all so inspiring and eccentric. I learn more spending a day with them then I would with a day of reading or researching. Music, too. Music has helped a tremendous amount, and I feel rather ridiculous saying that it has healing powers.. But I'm now of the opinion that (the right kind of) music heals quite a bit. I found hobbies, I began to spend time with and trust my friends, I distanced myself from the people that were hurting me... And now I feel like I'm ready to just go. Reconnecting with old friends has seriously provided me the most joy out of anything, too, so I feel as thought that four will grow to five or six in just a matter of days. I'm happy with life, and I'm happy with people. I've discovered more about myself and the world around me in the past month than I ever have before, I think. I am so incredibly lucky to be alive and to be liked and have the friends that I have, though. I wouldn't give them up for anything.]]> http://maddyfigueroa.com/blog.html/tis_wonderful_tis_marvelous Sun, 04 Jul 2010 00:18:49 -0700 Let's pretend we don't exist. - Maddy Figueroa - Blog/Current News http://maddyfigueroa.com/blog.html/powerful_things http://maddyfigueroa.com/blog.html/powerful_things Fri, 18 Jun 2010 22:00:50 -0700 Let's pretend we don't exist. - Maddy Figueroa - Blog/Current News http://maddyfigueroa.com/blog.html/life_a_blog_entry

Life.
Life seems to be made up of problems lately, therefore making life itself one giant predicament.


I am insignificant in comparison to the rest of the world, to the rest of the universe. What is my purpose here? Do I have a purpose? Does anyone, really? What is life? What do we do? What does anything that is alive do? We live. We accomplish, we love, we work, we strive. But for what? Overall, what is the purpose of life at all? One may answer, "To attain happiness." Why, though? "Because we want to be happy.." Why do we want to be happy? Why do we even want to be alive? What is this overall purpose? Many, many people have exhausted themselves over this. What is the purpose of human existence? Of any existence, really? To thrive... To live.. To build, to work, to love. To create.
Creation.
Art.
Beauty.
I see a work of art. Be it a painting, a photograph, or even a play or literature.
It appeals to my eye, I call it beautiful. Why do I do so? I have now reached a point where I acknowledge the beauty in something, and move on. These things used to impact me. Works of art used to heavily impact me. But now, everything seems almost bland. Why is this? Could it be because of constant theorization? (And is it ironic that I'm theorizing about the potential negative effects of theorization?)
Are rushes of adrenaline, those wonderful feelings where the world spins by so fast and every little thing seems totally enlightened true living?
I'm not sure if I agree.
There have been times in my life where everything seems to fit, every little piece falls into place, and the world seems so beautiful.
Those, however, are just days.
Days are brief.
I want my entire life to feel that way. I want to stop dwelling on why I'm alive, and to just start living.
Here's where this whole situation gets really complicated.
I am young.
I am still in school.
I have no way to start my life until I finish High School, not to mention College.
College.
I know where I want to go.
I've been working towards it ever since my discovery of Liberal Arts schools.
I can study the three things I want.
Why do I want them, though? What is this driving force, the voice in the back of my head that says "Keep going, you want to get into college. Keep going, you can do better than that." All for this one aspiration.
To get into a (specific) Liberal Arts school.
Now, I am one example of many, many people who are going through the same thing as I.
Perhaps their thoughts are more intelligent and organized than mine.
But we share similar thoughts all the same.
I take comfort in knowing that I am not the only one.
It would be ridiculous, self-centered and uneducated of me to think otherwise.
I think that part of what keeps me going every day is the knowledge that, no matter what, I am not alone.
I know that there are (many) other people in the world dwelling on this subject.( The purpose of life, that is.)
Many of the documented conclusions have been so seemingly simple, they're complex.

My conclusion seemed to be the same as theirs.
Happiness.
Now, that's very multi-faceted and multi-layered.
A very wise friend of mine once said "The means by which you attain happiness are just as important as the happiness itself."
I agree with him.
In order to attain happiness, one must go through processes.
In my opinion, happiness can be achieved with the following:

Knowledge. We never, ever stop learning. In my opinion, everything we do is a learning process. We can reach a point of happiness and satisfaction with life if we are not adverse to learning new things, always.

Dreams. Or, aspirations, more accurately. We must have things to shoot for. If we can dream, perhaps we can achieve. If we achieve, then we can be happy.

Success. If we dream, then, if we succeed in our endeavors, in the things we've dreamed, how could we not be happy?



Love. Without love, then I truly feel that there is nothing to live for. I can find love in many places. I find love in beauty, I recall.
Ah! This must be why I find things beautiful, then. I can associate love with these things, these pieces of art that I find beautiful, and then I can realize why I am alive.

In applying these principles, I can truly determine why I live. Just because I cannot change the world completely, maybe, with my dreams, success, love and knowledge, I can change a few lives, including my own. Maybe it's selfish of me to even think, but after all, isn't the purpose of living to attain personal happiness?

Now, I thought I was finished. I thought I had completed my thought process, and I was fairly satisfied with my conclusion.
However, (starting to think about revisions) I said "Oh, wait, perhaps this isn't done!"
And my dear,wise, intelligent and insightful love remarked "Will it ever be?"

The answer is no. These are thoughts I will carry with me for my entire life. For the days when I cannot find a distinct purpose in life, these points, concepts and ideas will remind me of how to do so.
I hope that somewhere, in my musings, they have done the same for you.]]> http://maddyfigueroa.com/blog.html/life_a_blog_entry Mon, 08 Feb 2010 21:49:27 -0800 Let's pretend we don't exist. - Maddy Figueroa - Blog/Current News