Maddy Figueroa: Blog/Current News

I'm never going to be perfect, and it's high time I stopped trying.
I will never, ever, EVER be the kid who can get called on in math class and answer the questions perfectly. I probably won't answer the question at all, actually,
I won't always look perfect. Hell, half the time, I probably won't even look good.
I will never be a size zero. (Thank god, if my hips were that small I would have no figure.)
I will always have a bit of extra weight on me.
I will always be less pretty than some girls. Than most girls, arguably.
I'm never going to be one of those girls who looks pretty when she cries.
I'm never going to be one of those girls who can arrive at school with her hair one way, in perfect order and never have to glance in a mirror to know it looks good.
I'm never going to be one of those girls that have boys after her.
I'm never going to be one of those girls who have the courage to say what they're thinking all the time, because I don't have the confidence to back up my courage. [...]

I am feeling love that just kind of give me chills all over the place. This is crazzyyyy. My life is soon to be so full of things I love! Okay, specifically one thing I love, which is Harry Potter. There are three extremely exciting Harry-Potter related things happening in my life soon. I think I'm feeling very contemplative but also super duper high on life, which is generally not a good combination. The life high is due to said Harry Potter excitement. The contemplative mood is due to Sea Wolf. So much beauty and love. I just love right now.

OKAY. So the Harry Potter related events:

1. My birthday is in April. My lovely father has agreed to pay for half of a trip to Orlando. Know what's in Orlando? FUCKING UNIVERSAL STUDIOS WIZARDING WORLD OF HARRY POTTER. I have been waiting to go to this for at least three years. (It was announced it 2007. ;))

2. The Harry Potter Exhibition is hitting my city! (Or, a city I live in/ nearby anyway.) I have tickets. OCTOBER.

3. Deathly Hallows comes [...]

I simply cannot contain myself. Today was overall pretty laid back, I read Goblet of Fire, went outside a bit. Nothing largely exciting. So, once I finished Goblet of Fire, I decided to browse around the internet (for Harry Potter related things, of course.) Now, imagine my surprise when I discovered, (on the Wikipedia page for Harry Potter related legal disputes) an independently authored Harry Potter sequel. Online. 3 of them, all of about Harry's son, James. Not dissimilar to Fanfiction, I realize. However, these stories are all available for download! Of course, perhaps my excitement was just a placebo. What if these stories were terribly written and did a great dishonor to the Harry Potter series? So I ventured into one of them. For a fan story- This author is pretty fucking amazing. Being the nerdy fangirl that I am, I decided to share this with a bunch of nonexistent readers of my blog. Love you guys! You're the best. *sigh* I digress. I'll add a link to the page where these stories [...]

(Ehem... Author's Note: I feel as though I'm writing and rambling for the sake of writing and rambling. But I did make a commitment to myself that I would begin to actually blog. So here's the blogging.)

Oh, the beauty of time. I don't think it heals all wounds; But it certainly does numb them, or perhaps even partially heal them. And to think that just a few weeks ago, I was contemplating how awful life was. For what feels like the first time in a long while, though, I can honestly say I am happy. Just generally content. I have four people in my life who I feel really concrete with, and who I'm always excited to see. Just their general existence and company is plenty to make my day, and they're all so inspiring and eccentric. I learn more spending a day with them then I would with a day of reading or researching. Music, too. Music has helped a tremendous amount, and I feel rather ridiculous saying that it has healing powers.. But I'm now of the opinion that (the right kind of) music [...]

There is an astronomical difference between the beginning of a relationship and the end of one. I never fathomed that one person could change so much about my life. I never knew that abruptly having that person leave my life would cause more pain than struggling with that person, either. Even after two months, I'm still feeling the after-effects, though maybe to a lesser extent. Things are getting better, for the most part. I've found that my healing process is comparable to falling down on roller skates and getting huge bruises and cuts. It's sort of as though you fell once, really hard, (the break-up) and the wound was numb for awhile. Then, you fell again, and the wound started bleeding profusely, for a couple of days. Then you decided to stay off of skates for a period of time, in order to allow yourself to heal. But THEN you got back on the roller skates and ran into a tree, (I actually did that, but I was trying to make that tree stand for a bump in the healing process, like stumbling [...]